Member-only story
Lost Friendship
Letting Go to be a Better Friend to Yourself
It was only a matter of time.
There were just a handful of people wandering the grocery aisles late into the evening on Friday night. I ended up in the store late as I just could not bring myself to go earlier in the day, despite the growing feeling I’d be wanting ice cream that evening.
Of course, it’s impossible to just buy the one or two items I went for. Finally, I was on the last aisle, just one more item I thought I’d grab since I was already in the store.
Our carts were on a collision course, and it was impossible to pretend we didn’t see each other. I think we caught sight of each other at exactly the same time. “Hello”, I spoke first. “How are you?”
“Good”, she replied, but she was still pushing her cart so I understood that to mean that we both knew we would not even pretend to have a real conversation. “How are you?” she asked as an automated reply, more so than any genuine concern. “Good” I lied and said nothing more.
It was a cold, perfunctory exchange because we could not avoid each other. That was it. We kept our carts moving through the store in opposite directions.
As I packed my groceries into my bags, she appeared at the same cashier lane behind me. Since there were only a couple of checkout lanes open at that hour, I was certain it was not intentional she chose the same check-out lane I was in. This time we did not speak, acknowledge or look at each other.
Out in the parking lot, while I was loading my grocery bags into my car, I wondered how long it had been since we had talked when we used to be friends. Was it two or three years now? I wasn’t sure.
As I drove out through the parking lot, I could see her through the window at the checkout. Should I have asked how her husband was doing, and her family, I second-guessed myself? Yes, perhaps. I thought it strange, almost, how we had never run into each other before tonight, as we live in the same end of town and shop at the same stores in the same plazas.
I could barely remember now the hollow feeling of how hurt I felt back then when she didn’t value our friendship enough to talk through a misunderstanding, despite my…
